


Too Much

by Howling_Alligator



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Coping Mechanisms, Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 04:04:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6222949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howling_Alligator/pseuds/Howling_Alligator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You just wanted this day to end already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic as a submission for Metal Gear: Original Ops on [Tumblr](http://mgs-original-ops.tumblr.com/).
> 
> It's set on PW Era and dedicated to the people who have to deal with stressful thoughts and a lack of motivation regularly.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

“Hey… are you okay?”

Your train of thought stopped abruptly as you turned to face whoever had decided to enter your personal space. But when your eyes landed on those aviators all words left your mouth almost instantly. 

Any attempt to speak proved to be futile, so you let out a soft, wry chuckle instead.

Of course you weren’t okay.

From the moment the alarm went off and the only idea that crossed your mind was blowing up the entire facility including yourself, you knew it was going to be one of those days.

The world had always spun at an unnatural speed for you, but during the Fun Days – as you used to call them – its velocity seemed impossible to match. People were having breakfast at the mess hall while you were moving your hands around the blankets in an attempt to make your bed.

Your co-workers talked too fast about too many topics at once, and it took all of your willpower not to collapse. They performed multiple tasks at the same time and expected you to keep up with their pace; they were so wrapped up in their own cycle of productivity that all you could do was put on your best neutral face and count the minutes until all soldiers left the mess hall to attend their duties.

When the working place became vacant again, your crew cleaned up the tables and went outside for a short break, allowing themselves some time to relax until they were required to prepare today’s lunch. That pause gave you the opportunity to move towards the empty kitchen area to avoid any kind of interaction. Meanwhile, you could play some music on the stereo you kept on the counter, or look out of the window and let your mind wander as you observed the ocean.

However, the unexpected visitor put an end to your brief respite. Kaz was witnessing you in a vulnerable state, your eyes damp and your inability to answer his question with words.

He didn’t really want to know what you had been through, did he?

For a moment, you wished you could blurt out everything, every negative thought that had been flooding your mind for weeks; every reason why you felt worthless, useless, invisible.

“I didn’t see you this morning at the mess hall, so I waited for the end of the shift to ask your workmates about you,” Kaz added when the silence became too heavy. “I’ll be around if you need a hand, alright?”

A slight nod was the only answer, so he turned around with a hesitant _well then, I should get going_ , and walked over to the exit.

“Wait,” you pleaded, taking a deep breath as Kaz twirled to look at you again. “I’m not… feeling well.”

“I thought as much.” Smiling, he retrieved a cassette tape from one of his pockets. “Maybe this helps you relax for a while.”

“Recordings?” you added, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“When I’m having a bad day I sit down and listen to my favorite tapes,” Kaz continued in a softer tone. “They all contain steam locomotive sounds, so I close my eyes and imagine I’m travelling to any place I wish to go.”

That kind of idea hadn’t crossed your mind before, but it sounded like a valid calming method at that moment; anything that offered the possibility of casting those thoughts aside was more than welcome.

Following his advice, you sat down on a nearby chair.

“Alright then, I’ll give it a try.”

“You won’t be disappointed,” he assured you as he plugged the stereo into the socket and inserted the tape.

The sound of the whistle made you jump in your chair, eliciting a small chuckle from Kaz followed by an apology. Once the train started moving, you focused on steadying your breath and thinking about getting away from that place, to a destination where all distressing matters would vanish for once.

Slowly, the feelings of anxiety began to fade as the train kept running along the railway, travelling across peaceful landscapes recreated in your mind: lush forests, lakes, mountains, desert regions…

In your imaginary train car, you could contemplate each of them in comfortable silence.

“You know, I was a kid when I first got in one of these,” Kaz recalled with a tender smile. “I was with my mom at that time. Once we gained speed I thought we were gliding over the railway, and when I told her she laughed for a good five minutes. And do you know what she said?”

“Hm?”

“She said, ‘maybe they’ll glide someday.’”

“Do you think they will?” you asked in a hushed voice, as if Kaz’s answer was meant to be kept as the biggest of secrets. 

Upon hearing this, he couldn’t help but give off a playful snicker.

“Perhaps. If they build a train that hovers over the railings, though, I’ll buy tickets for two.”


End file.
